Cake Wrecks – Baby Shower Edition
I love Cake Wrecks and if you haven't checked out the site, then get over there because it's like lucite stripper shoes – sometimes tacky, sometimes scary and always awesome.
I asked Jen if I could pull a couple of the shower cakes for a post, you can imagine how thrilled I was when she said "go for it".
Let me tell ya, I was not disappointed in the plethora of batshit cakes that people serve up at baby showers.
Here are just a few that are as tasty as electric-blue, store bought frosting:
"What? I thought it was spelled "Tschower". Godammit. Hand me that rag, would ya?"
I love Babbies. The more 'b's the better. (Unless it's actually 'Baffies'. Now that would be stupid.)
"Just a sliver of giant tit for me, please. I'm trying to watch my weight."
Nothing says "edible" quite like an abdomen gash with a hand sticking out.
This is actually a really beautiful cake until you realize you have to cut into a sleeping infant. No, that's not disturbing or anything.
Again, we have to cut this cake, people. I don't want to eat half of a baby's face (judging from the photo, I'd eat the whole head but I wouldn't be happy about it.)
Why do I feel like it was the 18-year-old brother's job to get the cake?
It is important that we all know why we are gathered here today. Stick lady + cup of sperm = heart, baby, heart. All together now...
I'm really hoping this isn't what Tristan looked like. If it was, then my bad and I tip my hat to your charming cake.
WTF is happening here? Why is a burnt ET sitting on top of a t.v.? Welcome to the world, Ethan. You're surrounded by nuts.
Maybe the parents decided to name this child "Finally" regardless of gender because I can't even figure out what they were going for here.
Oh, it's a baby BABY shower. Crap, I need to get another card.
I have no idea what they find weird about this cake?! Maybe the woman they were having the shower for wasn't named Olivia. Now *that* would be awkward.
Actually, this is exactly how Connie gave birth – surrounded by rosettes while her giant boob-balls rolled into her mouth.
Yes, congratulations on your headless baby, now let's eat its feet.
Mmmmm, uterus.
What you can't see is Uncle Bob's interpretive dance that goes along with this cake. It's all about learning through poetry and movement.
Is it worse to eat a beautiful baby cake or a creepy one? Creepy cake babies have rights too, you know.
This is possibly the best cake I have ever seen. If I had witness this cake in 1977, my head would have exploded or I would have done something like this. With the protection of Darth Vader in an acid tripping, air-brushed universe, that lucky little baby can't lose. She just can't lose.
This isn't even a cake but I am horrified that someone has taken the two things I love most – meatloaf and bacon – and molded it into the most disturbing thing I have ever seen. Excuse me while I go bleach my eyes.
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So there you have it. Now get out there and get your creepy "babby" cake holding a cup of sperm and some bacon. Happy showers, Peeps!
Pregnant Chicken
Your parents love you. You WILL like ball sports. You will rule the courts with your pacifier on a chain and empty bottle.
Pregnant Chicken
Someone sent me this from a baby shower they actually went to. There are so many "why" questions here. Why the graphic detail? Why is her vagina so high? Why the giant rack? Why does that baby look like it's being slithered out instead of pushed? Why are you trying to scare everyone with a cake?!
Reader Comments (69)
Funniest post ever! Awesome cakes made even better with your witty comments. Thanks!
Oh, love me some Cake Wrecks...
I'm amazed at what people think good cake looks like. So glad mine didn't have any lifelike features to it; just three layers of amaretto and some sugar tigers.
Dammit, I can't find the photo I was thinking of, but those cakes shaped as "babbies" make me think of Naked Gun, when they had the cake imprinted with The Queen and someone had to eat her eye.
The last one kinda made me want to throw up in my mouth a little.
I love cake wrecks. Seeing these again, I almost peed myself laughing.
I have tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard - I so needed this!!! Hilarious!
Holy cow. I'm dying! Love Cake Wrecks but these...these take the cake (get that? did you get that one?). Seriously I don't know what's better a super creepy photorealistic baby body that we're supposed to eat, a cake with a rendering of sperm on it, or a demon hand coming out of an abdomen gash. It's all so wrong/awesome.
HAHAHA i am passing these to my sister that is making my baby shower cake.
haha this is awesome!
Hor-rif-fying.
Ugh. No cake for me.
There is so very much wrong with meatloaf baby: the creepy, white, hard-boiled egg eyes, the sumo wrestling bacon outfit, and the way its steepling its fingers like Mr. Burns from "The Simpsons."
Also, it's raw. UGH!
These cakes are truly incredible !!~!!
There are sooooo many that I love I could not begin to mention.
I do THANK YOU so much because I needed something fun to do & see tonight.
This is it.
I am just smiling so 'wide'....first time today.
TY TY TY
Thank you for introducing me to this website! I love it as much as the awkward photos!
Disturbing but entertaining - I am so happy that we went with cupcakes at my shower!
I thought the c-section one was a big nasty ve-jay-jay with a hand sticking out. I was too busy throwing up in my mouth to read the description.
wow. why didn't i get a snazzy cake like this at my shower? oh yeah. i'm not loved! boo. :) great find!
Those are hilariously disturbing! Except for the one of the baby's hand coming out of the woman's abdomen - that's just disturbing!
Oh my, this confluence of two of my very favourite blogs just about made my brain explode.
The "naked ladies giving birth" cakes are amazing. Eating the baby? Check. Eating the mother? Check. Graphic representation of the birth? Dear God, check. And also, she's naked. I would say that, as a rule of thumb, if you would feel the need to put the black censorship bar over a part of your baby shower cake, you reeeeeeeeaally should reconsider the theme.
Those cakes are hilarious! Would I eat the baby face from a baby shower cake? Never!
Gosh, these cakes are all so awesome I can't choose a favorite ! Too bad I'm done giving birth. Oh, well, there's always my daughters. And hey, do you know where I can get me some lucite stripper shoes?
This made my day! So funny!
I don't even know what to say to some of those cakes. Stunning is the only word that comes to mind.
What is wrong with people?!?!
I am now, however, in the mood for cake. Just regular rectangle or circle cake, but cake.
I have to wipe my eyes with a tissue from laughing. I'd like to add one comment..not sure if anyone else caught this. For the every first image on the page. The caption reads..."What? I thought it was spelled "Tschower". Godammit. Hand me that rag, would ya?" Well I would like to point out the lovely noose shaped ribbon at the bottom of the cake. Nice touch.
Dear God, I totally missed the noose. What a glorious detail to add to a shower cake.
Oh dear, forgive me I came over here on a whim and thought that you were a purveyor of these cakes and then I realized you were just the evil genius behind this hilarious post. Kudos!
This was 'udderly' amazing just like that atrocious Got milk cake. Hahaha! It has the I don't wanna look but don't wanna look away quality to it! Thanks for sharing the awesomeness that is cake wrecks with everyone!! I needed to add some additional time suckers to my life! Great post!! =)
I just woke my little guy up laughing so hard, and tears running down my face. Fantastic post!