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Friday
Dec232011

My Favourite Santa Shots 

This really has nothing to do with pregnancy except that someone gave birth to each and everyone of these people, plus, these Santa shots are just too good not to share so what the heck.

Enjoy.

 

"Why is Santa burnt like that? I don't wanna to burst into flames! Get me off this crispy lap!"

 

 

I will keep these children until I get my boiled beef and mead!

 

 

I have no words for how much I love this Santa. It's like he said, "Let's embrace the elephant in the room, shall we? Hand me my shades and let's do this."

 

 

"Shut up, Mittens! I told you *I* was going to ask for tuna and the red dot on the wall"

 

 

Little Mikayla was quite content to sit on her green chair until Santa came up behind her and screamed, "There be gold in those hills! Arrrrhhhh."

 

 

What in the Rasputin hell is going on here? Is 4270 the number of children that have needed therapy after their Christmas picture?

 

 

Even Santa himself was startled by the gas revenge his food court burrito was taking.

 

 

This kid was so way ahead of his time. And Glee.

 

 

I have no doubt that this little girl is chewing on a Xanax after her Percocet smoothie to get her up on this lap.

 

 

Why do I suspect that there is also a puddle of urine under this Santa's chair?

 

 

"One time. Just one fucking time I'd like a holiday where the shit wasn't scared out of me!"

 

 

Hey, at least he still has his hat. We've all been there, man. We've all been there.

 

 

"Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! Jingle all the way!!!" Everybody!

 

 

Yep, this is showing up in a wedding slideshow.

 

 

May God bless you and your giant penis, Sir.

 

Merry Christmas, Peeps!

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Reader Comments (10)

The dude with the saxophone? There are. No. WORDS. *shudder*

December 23, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAdney

Omg. Amy...LOVE these. Especially the balloon art. Priceless. I needed these today, considering I told my mother last night that I wanted to bash her head in.

December 24, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterher ace in the hole

Oh dear God. I have a reaction to each and every one of these but my comment might be longer than your post. I can't take it. Must. Click. Away.

December 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

The Santa with the possible urine puddle is scary... Mom, step in here and pick up your child!

December 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Again, I laughed so hard I cried.

Also, last night I showed my parents your Cake Wrecks-Baby Shower Edition post, and my dad laughed so hard that he had to leave the room and come back an hour later to finish the post. He was choking and was afraid he might die. He kept saying, "Who is this person? Who wrote this? Who is this person?" It was hilarious. A Christmas memory for the books.

December 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKasey

Love your blog..been watching it for a month now and cannot stop coming back. The guy with the saxophone-- Just. ... ... ... ...

December 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterWineWhine&Wellbutrin

Your comments are freaking priceless!

I especially love: "Hey, at least he still has his hat. We've all been there, man. We've all been there."

Well done!

December 27, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

oh ma lands. this is wonderful. it reminds me of your people of walmart post. but in a jolly way. ho ho oh no......!
happy new year!

January 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermama bear

Amy, this kind of post reminds me why I need to do my pelvic floor exercises (I believe you call them Kegel exercises stateside).

Thanks for the laughs and happy new year!

January 5, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSally

percocet smoothie. hahahahaha

this post was hysterical.

February 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenteremily

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